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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Krn 20:4 Judas susirinko prašyti Viešpaties pagalbos; ieškoti Viešpaties žmonės suėjo iš kiekvieno Judo miesto.
2Ch 20:4 And Judah gathered themselves together, to ask help of the LORD: even out of all the cities of Judah they came to seek the LORD.
Kun 25:35 Jei kas nors iš tavo giminių patektų į skurdą ir taptų tavo išlaikytiniu, turėsi jį paremti. Tegyvena jis su tavimi kaip ateivis ar įnamis.
Le 25:35 And if thy brother be waxen poor, and fallen in decay with thee; then thou shalt relieve him: yea, though he be a stranger, or a sojourner; that he may live with thee.
Jer 37:17 Kartą karalius Zedekijas slaptai atsivedė jį į savo rūmus ir paklausė: "Gal turi žodį iš Viešpaties? " Jeremijas atsakė: "Taip! Tu būsi atiduotas Babilono karaliui į rankas. "
Jer 37:17 Then Zedekiah the king sent, and took him out: and the king asked him secretly in his house, and said, Is there any word from the LORD? And Jeremiah said, There is: for, said he, thou shalt be delivered into the hand of the king of Babylon.
Sk 21:9 Mozė tada padirbo vario žaltį ir pridėjo jį prie stulpo. Kai tik žaltys ką nors įgeldavo, tas žmogus pažvelgdavo į vario žaltį ir likdavo gyvas.
Nu 21:9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.
Jer 31:38 Tikėk manimi, ateina dienos, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis, ­ kai Viešpaties miestas bus atstatytas nuo Hananelio bokšto ligi Kampo vartų.
Jer 31:38 Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the city shall be built to the LORD from the tower of Hananeel unto the gate of the corner.
1Kor 15:30 O kodėl ir mes kas valandą nevengiame pavojų?
1C 15:30 And why stand we in jeopardy every hour?
Ps 31:24 Būkite stiprūs ir drąsios širdies visi, kurie pasitikite Viešpačiu!
Ps 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
Mch 1:14 Todėl duosi atsisveikinimo dovanųMorešet Gatui. Achzibo namai bus apgaulėIzraelio karaliams.
Mic 1:14 Therefore shalt thou give presents to Moreshethgath: the houses of Achzib shall be a lie to the kings of Israel.
Ez 16:58 Tu turi kęsti bausmę už savo ištvirkavimą ir bjauriuosius nusikaltimus", ­ tai Viešpaties žodis.
Eze 16:58 Thou hast borne thy lewdness and thine abominations, saith the LORD.
Koh 10:14 Kvailasis tiesiog daugina žodžius! Nė vienas nežino, ką atneš ateitis; kas gali kam nors pasakyti, kas įvyks po jo?
Ec 10:14 A fool also is full of words: a man cannot tell what shall be; and what shall be after him, who can tell him?
Jer 44:9 Nejaugi pamiršote savo protėvių, Judo karalių ir jų žmonų nusikaltimus, jūsų pačių ir jūsų žmonų nusikaltimus, padarytus Judo krašte ir Jeruzalės gatvėse?
Jer 44:9 Have ye forgotten the wickedness of your fathers, and the wickedness of the kings of Judah, and the wickedness of their wives, and your own wickedness, and the wickedness of your wives, which they have committed in the land of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem?
Pr 38:5 Po to ji dar kartą pagimdė sūnų ir pavadino jį Šela. Ji pagimdė jį, būdama Kezibe.
Ge 38:5 And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him.
Iš 28:1 Pasišauk iš izraelitų savo brolį Aaroną drauge su jo sūnumis tarnauti man kunigais ­ Aaroną ir Aarono sūnus Nadabą bei Abihuvą, Eleazarą ir Itamarą.
Ex 28:1 And take thou unto thee Aaron thy brother, and his sons with him, from among the children of Israel, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office, even Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar, Aaron's sons.
Lk 6:46 Kam vadinate mane: ‘Viešpatie, Viešpatie’, o nedarote, ką sakau? !
Lu 6:46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
Jn 20:1 Pirmąją savaitės dieną, labai anksti, dar neišaušus, Marija Magdalena atėjo pas kapą ir pamatė, kad akmuo nuverstas nuo rūsio angos.
Jo 20:1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.
Sk 5:24 Pagirdys moterį kartybės vandeniu, nešančiu prakeikimą, kad prakeikimą nešantis vanduo patektų į ją ir sukeltų kartų skausmą.
Nu 5:24 And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter.
Ps 80:2 Efraimo, Benjamino ir Manaso giminėms! Parodyk savo galybęir ateik mūsų gelbėti!
Ps 80:2 Before Ephraim and Benjamin and Manasseh stir up thy strength, and come and save us.
Ps 83:3 Jie rengia sąmokslus prieš tavo tautą, tariasi prieš tavo globotinius.
Ps 83:3 They have taken crafty counsel against thy people, and consulted against thy hidden ones.
Pr 46:18 Tai palikuonys Zilpos, kurią Labanas davė savo dukteriai Lėjai. Juos, šešiolika asmenų, ji pagimdė Jokūbui.
Ge 46:18 These are the sons of Zilpah, whom Laban gave to Leah his daughter, and these she bare unto Jacob, even sixteen souls.
Įst 23:18 Neneši kekšės užmokesčio ar kekšininko atlygio į Viešpaties, savo Dievo, Namus kaip aukos už įžadą, nes jiedu abu pasibjaurėtini Viešpačiui, tavo Dievui.
De 23:18 Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the LORD thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

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