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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Kar 16:33 Ahabas padarė ir šventąjį stulpą. Ahabas padarė daugiau Viešpačiui, Izraelio Dievui, supykdyti negu bet kuris iš prieš jį buvusių Izraelio karalių.
1Ki 16:33 And Ahab made a grove; and Ahab did more to provoke the LORD God of Israel to anger than all the kings of Israel that were before him.
Iz 46:7 Dedasi jį ant pečių, nešiojasi visur; kai pastato jį vieton, jis stovi ten sustingęsir nepajuda iš vietos. Nors jie šaukiasi, jis negali atsilieptinei išgelbėti jų iš nelaimės.
Isa 46:7 They bear him upon the shoulder, they carry him, and set him in his place, and he standeth; from his place shall he not remove: yea, one shall cry unto him, yet can he not answer, nor save him out of his trouble.
Joz 14:5 Kaip Viešpats buvo Mozei įsakęs, taip izraelitai ir darė, dalydami kraštą.
Jos 14:5 As the LORD commanded Moses, so the children of Israel did, and they divided the land.
Pat 4:17 Nedorumas ­ jų valgoma duona, smurtas ­ jų geriamas vynas.
Pr 4:17 For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence.
Jer 17:12 Šlovės sostas, išaukštintas nuo pat pradžios, ­ tokia yra mūsų Šventyklos vieta! Malda
Jer 17:12 A glorious high throne from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary.
Ezd 9:10 Tad viso to akivaizdoje, mūsų Dieve, ką mes galime sakyti? Juk esame atmetę tavo Įsakymus,
Ezr 9:10 And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? for we have forsaken thy commandments,
Ts 5:27 Jis sukniubo ir krito, sukniubo prie jos kojų. Kur sukniubo, ten ir krito negyvas.
Judg 5:27 At her feet he bowed, he fell, he lay down: at her feet he bowed, he fell: where he bowed, there he fell down dead.
Apr 1:7 Štai jis ateina su debesimis, ir išvys jį kiekviena akis, net ir tie, kurie jį perdūrė; ir dėl jo raudos visos žemės giminės. Taip, amen!
Re 1:7 Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
Ps 78:48 Jis atidavė jų galvijus ledų krušai, o jų kaimenes ­ žaibams.
Ps 78:48 He gave up their cattle also to the hail, and their flocks to hot thunderbolts.
Apd 12:21 Nustatytą dieną Erodas, apsivilkęs karališkais drabužiais, atsisėdo į sostą ir sakė jiems prakalbą.
Ac 12:21 And upon a set day Herod, arrayed in royal apparel, sat upon his throne, and made an oration unto them.
1Krn 23:4 "Iš šių, ­ tarė Dovydas, ­ dvidešimt keturi tūkstančiai vadovaus Viešpaties Namų tarnybai, šeši tūkstančiai bus apskaitininkai ir teisėjai,
1Ch 23:4 Of which, twenty and four thousand were to set forward the work of the house of the LORD; and six thousand were officers and judges:
Jn 18:5 Jie atsakė: "Jėzaus Nazariečio! " Jėzus tarė: "Tai aš. " Jo išdavėjas Judas irgi stovėjo tarp jų.
Jo 18:5 They answered him, Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus saith unto them, I am he. And Judas also, which betrayed him, stood with them.
Pr 47:16 Juozapas sakė: "Atveskite savo galvijus, ir aš jums parduosiu už galvijus, jeigu išsibaigė jūsų pinigai. "
Ge 47:16 And Joseph said, Give your cattle; and I will give you for your cattle, if money fail.
Rom 10:8 Bet ką jis sako? ­ Arti tavęs žodis: jis tavo burnoje ir tavo širdyje; tai reiškia mūsų skelbiamą tikėjimo žodį.
Ro 10:8 But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach;
Įst 30:3 Viešpats, tavo Dievas, sugrąžins tave iš tremties ir, pasigailėdamas tavęs, vėl surinks tave iš visų tautų, kuriose Viešpats, tavo Dievas, bus tave išsklaidęs.
De 30:3 That then the LORD thy God will turn thy captivity, and have compassion upon thee, and will return and gather thee from all the nations, whither the LORD thy God hath scattered thee.
1Kar 11:8 Tą pat jis padarė visoms savo svetimtautėms žmonoms, atnašaujančioms smilkalus ir aukas savo dievams.
1Ki 11:8 And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods.
2Sam 1:16 O Dovydas sakė: "Tekrinta tavo kraujas ant tavo galvos, nes savo paties lūpomis paliudijai prieš save: ‘Aš užmušiau Viešpaties pateptąjį. ’"
2Sa 1:16 And David said unto him, Thy blood be upon thy head; for thy mouth hath testified against thee, saying, I have slain the LORD's anointed.
Mt 16:18 Ir aš tau sakau: tu esi Petras ­ [uola]; ant tos uolos aš pastatysiu savo Bažnyčią, ir pragaro vartai jos nenugalės.
Mat 16:18 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
Lk 15:2 O fariziejai ir Rašto aiškintojai murmėdavo: "Šitas priima nusidėjėlius ir su jais valgo. "
Lu 15:2 And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.
Pr 9:8 Tuomet Dievas tarė Nojui ir su juo buvusiems sūnums:
Ge 9:8 And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,

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