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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Jn 1:19 Toks buvo Jono liudijimas, kai žydai iš Jeruzalės atsiuntė pas jį kunigų ir levitų paklausti: "Kas tu esi? "
Jo 1:19 And this is the record of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, Who art thou?
Iz 35:6 Tada raišasis šokinės tartum elnias, dainuos iš džiaugsmo nebylio liežuvis. Dykumoje ištrykš vandens srovės, tyrlaukiuose tekės upės.
Isa 35:6 Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert.
Kun 10:5 Jiedu priėjo ir išnešė juos, apsirengusius tunikomis, už stovyklos, kaip Mozė jiems buvo įsakęs.
Le 10:5 So they went near, and carried them in their coats out of the camp; as Moses had said.
Jer 44:9 Nejaugi pamiršote savo protėvių, Judo karalių ir jų žmonų nusikaltimus, jūsų pačių ir jūsų žmonų nusikaltimus, padarytus Judo krašte ir Jeruzalės gatvėse?
Jer 44:9 Have ye forgotten the wickedness of your fathers, and the wickedness of the kings of Judah, and the wickedness of their wives, and your own wickedness, and the wickedness of your wives, which they have committed in the land of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem?
Pat 15:3 Dievo akys yra visur, jos stebi blogus ir gerus žmones.
Pr 15:3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
Fil 4:17 Aš netrokštu dovanos, bet noriu, kad jūsų naudai augtų vaisiai jūsų sąskaiton.
Phil 4:17 Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account.
Koh 7:28 O štai ko dar tebeieškau, nors nesėkmingai: vieną vyrą iš tūkstančio užtikau, bet nė vienos moters tarp jų niekada neradau.
Ec 7:28 Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.
Jer 1:10 Įsidėmėk! Šią dieną paskiriu tavetautų ir karalysčių prievaizdu, kad išrautum ir nugriautum, sunaikintum ir nuverstum, atstatytum ir atsodintum. "
Jer 1:10 See, I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant.
Oz 4:1 Klausykis Viešpaties žodžio, Izraelio tauta, nes Viešpats traukia į teismą krašto gyventojus: "Dorumo, ištikimos meilėsir Dievo pažinimo nėra!
Ho 4:1 Hear the word of the LORD, ye children of Israel: for the LORD hath a controversy with the inhabitants of the land, because there is no truth, nor mercy, nor knowledge of God in the land.
Pr 45:20 Savo daiktų nesigailėkite, nes kas geriausia visame Egipto krašte, bus jūsų. ’"
Ge 45:20 Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is your's.
Iz 24:7 Vynmedžiai vysta, jauno vyno trūksta; kam džiūgavo širdis, tas dabar dūsauja.
Isa 24:7 The new wine mourneth, the vine languisheth, all the merryhearted do sigh.
Jer 12:16 Ir tuomet, jei iš tikrųjų mokysis eiti mano tautos keliu, jie prisieks mano vardu: ‘Kaip gyvas Viešpats! ’ Jie, pirma mokę mano tautą prisiekinėti Baalu, turės vietos mano tautoje.
Jer 12:16 And it shall come to pass, if they will diligently learn the ways of my people, to swear by my name, The LORD liveth; as they taught my people to swear by Baal; then shall they be built in the midst of my people.
1Krn 5:20 ir nugalėjo. Hagarai ir visi su jais esantieji buvo atiduoti aniems į rankas, nes jie mūšyje šaukėsi Dievo, ir jis išklausė jų, nes anie pasitikėjo juo.
1Ch 5:20 And they were helped against them, and the Hagarites were delivered into their hand, and all that were with them: for they cried to God in the battle, and he was intreated of them; because they put their trust in him.
1Krn 6:62 Geršomo palikuonims pagal jų kiltis buvo skirta trylika miestų iš Isacharo, Ašero, Naftalio ir Manaso Bašane giminių.
1Ch 6:62 And to the sons of Gershom throughout their families out of the tribe of Issachar, and out of the tribe of Asher, and out of the tribe of Naphtali, and out of the tribe of Manasseh in Bashan, thirteen cities.
Jn 4:52 Jis pasiteiravo, kurią valandą sūnui pasidarė geriau. Jie atsakė: "Vakar apie septintą valandą atslūgo jam karštis. "
Jo 4:52 Then enquired he of them the hour when he began to amend. And they said unto him, Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.
Apd 23:3 Tuomet Paulius jam tarė: "Tau smogs Dievas, tu, pabaltinta siena! Tu čia sėdi, kad mane teistum pagal Įstatymą, o liepi mane mušti prieš Įstatymą? "
Ac 23:3 Then said Paul unto him, God shall smite thee, thou whited wall: for sittest thou to judge me after the law, and commandest me to be smitten contrary to the law?
1Krn 4:21 Judo sūnaus Šelos palikuonys: Lechos tėvas Eras, Marešos tėvas Lada ir drobės gamintojų kiltys Bet Ašbėjoje,
1Ch 4:21 The sons of Shelah the son of Judah were, Er the father of Lecah, and Laadah the father of Mareshah, and the families of the house of them that wrought fine linen, of the house of Ashbea,
Įst 17:15 iš tikrųjų gali pasiskirti karaliumi tą, kurį Viešpats, tavo Dievas, išrinks. Tik žiūrėk, kad karaliumi pasiskirtum vieną iš savo giminaičių; kokio nors svetimtaučio ­ žmogaus, kuris nėra tavo giminaitis ­ karaliumi negali pasiskirti.
De 17:15 Thou shalt in any wise set him king over thee, whom the LORD thy God shall choose: one from among thy brethren shalt thou set king over thee: thou mayest not set a stranger over thee, which is not thy brother.
Jn 20:7 ir skarą, buvusią ant Jėzaus galvos, ne su drobulėmis paliktą, bet suvyniotą ir atskirai padėtą.
Jo 20:7 And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
1Sam 20:6 Jei tavo tėvas manęs pasigestų, sakyk: ‘Dovydas labai prašė manęs, kad leisčiau jam trumpam nuvykti į savo miestą Betliejų, nes ten visa jo šeimyna atnašauja metinę auką. ’
1Sa 20:6 If thy father at all miss me, then say, David earnestly asked leave of me that he might run to Bethlehem his city: for there is a yearly sacrifice there for all the family.

Sanctus Corpus Deus